A few weeks ago I asked you for some words.
Then in turn I put the words into a numbered list and using random.org pick a word and write.
Here is the process: I pick some of my favorite instrumental music, write for 7 minutes and give myself 1 minute to edit (I just can't handle misspelled words Peaches!).
I am using the web app called Write or Die to keep track of my time. I am calling it 8 minutes....creative I know.
The point of this is to exercise my brain and to stop all that darn internal editing and just write.
My music choice for today.... music from the Doctor Who soundtracks.
Today's word: Fear.
Go.
I must admit I chuckled when I went to look at my list of words after random.org showed the number 14.
Fear.
Sigh.
I am deeply struggling with this right now even though to my own admittance...
I am hiding it.
March is coming. I still have a very part time job that does not pay well.
There seems to be no movement on that front. I put in applications.
Here where I currently live. In Nashville. In Atlanta. In Chattanooga.
Nothing.
And then I get scared.
Did I take the right step of faith last year?
Did I really hear from Him?
Did I make a huge wrong choice and these are the consequences?
Is He angry at me for some reason?
Or is this just a season of waiting and I must do just that....wait.
I know in the season of wait there is much to do.... active waiting.
Yet I am scared I do not know what that means in my life.
When fear gets in the way all I really want to do is withdraw to my
little room and lose myself in a good story....a movie, a television show, a book.
Or sit and listen to depressing songs.
I avoid. I am really good at it.
Yet...last week... friends....almost daily. A chat, a skype call, a phone call,
a day out.... two visits from my niece and her parents.
People.
And for this introvert... that's a LOT of people.
Yet it stopped me from withdrawing completely.
It stopped fear from completely taking over.
Now that I am aware just how scared I am I must be diligent.
I must not let fear overcome.
It has already made me miss so very much.
And so I hope.... that this is just a time of waiting and He is just sitting here
with me and the time will come and I will see what He wants me to see and
go the way He wants me to go.
Even though I don't particularly like the waiting.... It's better than the fear.
Stop.
How is fear impacting you today?
Have a word for me? Leave it in the comments!
Joining with Jen and the SDG sisterhood.
